Let me start with a correction - last week's crossbar challenge winners were in fact Nathan and Jacko !! Both have received payment of their wins, Nath, just to check ya mum took yours today mate - just in case she's kept them sweets a secret.
It was another weekend of firsts, both in the match and at training.
Daniel the 'Spaniel' won his first ever penalty shoot out, burying the winner on the left footed round right in the bottom corner to net the bag of sweets.
The crossbar challenge was a somewhat costly affair for me this week, another first was young Todderoffski, banging the ball against the underside of the bar to net himself a sugar based reward - just like Nathan, your sweets went to ya mum, via ya big bruv, so I hope you got them, Mia seemed to have her eyes fixed on them quite firmly.
First time striker of the crossbar was also the new boy at training, Liam, who slammed the middle of the crossbar on his first ever attempt, not bad work that - sweets next week Liam, assuming we've not scared you off ?!?
And yet another first, Martin Stubbs, also struck the bar and claimed a bag of sweets, rather than the customary beer, thanks Martin for keeping the expenditure down on a pricely week.
And this can't go without mention, I'm not sure if it's a first or not, and I'm sorry that I couldn't get the camera on my phone to work fast enough to provide evidence, but Mike Garner, on giving the crossbar challenge his best effort (in a pair of trainers), slipped on the wet grass, hovered for a second or two in the laying down position, but unfortunately for Mike, horizontal and two foot off the floor, before landing with a big wet thud. Brief concerns as to his welfare were soon put to rest as he broke into laughter. When asked of his Dad's exploits, Todderoffski could only say "Quality !!!" Mike then had to go home to Jane to explain the grass stains on his knees and bum !! Hopefully this will help aid that process ??
Onto this week's match report - get me, on a Sunday evening as well !!
Baddesley Park Knights 8 - 0 Bitterne Youth
As some would have seen, I took my dictaphone with me today as I wasn't sure that after celebrating my 35th birthday last night, my memory would have been up to accurately recalling the facts, as I have done in past weeks.
With the boys knowing they were up against the bottom placed team, great efforts were made to guard against complacency - however I'm not sure they were heeded !!
Sticking with the 4-4-2 line up that worked so well last week, the team was almost the same, apart from Spaniel in goal and Alfredo returning to the back four.
The match started scrappily, with many passes going astray and with a skiddy surface (the pitch that is folks) to boot, the boys didn't really take control of the game as they had last week.
Keeping shape was again an issue as many of the boys bombed forward, leaving large gaps between the midfield and defence, however with the opposition playing with a lone striker, Dan, standing in for the absent Nathan in goal, was rarely bothered. And I mean literally bothered, at one stage of the game he'd not been involved for some 15 minutes or so, and was busily rearranging the landscape in his penalty area by kicking holes in the dirt and actually facing the opposite way to the onrushing striker. Good work though Dan, concentration was there when it mattered, we'll come back to that in a minute, or two, depending on how fast you read ?!??
It took sometime to break down the stubborn Bitterne defence, after a series of fine crosses, Jacko netted from the corner of the 18 yard box, just as he had a few weeks previously. This time however it wasn't the same classy blaster in off the far post. In my own words on the dictaphone it was "oh, Jacko's fluked one, a cross to the far post ends up lobbing the keeper". Now some may say this was harsh, maybe Jacko meant it, but as he struck the ball, he let out a huge "humph" giving the game away somewhat, and then admitted it was a cross - never mind Jacko, they all count mate ! 1 - 0 Knights !!
Seconds later, Jacko swung in another great cross and Benno had a couple of stabs, but unlike last week was charged down by the defenders and keeper.
With the majority of play in the Bitterne half, it sounds like the boys were bossing the match, however it was still scratchy, and the passing left a lot to be desired.
The second goal came as Capitano Bradders casually dropped a shoulder some 35 yards out to skip past his man and run at the back four (just like we ask him to every week) calmly he slid a pass to Dom on the far side and another first followed as Dom stuck his shot across the face of the keeper and into the far side netting, great finish Dom for your first goal for the club !! Great play by Bradders as well.
2 - 0 Knights !!
The opposition keeper was struggling to clear his lines from the goal kicks and Bendy managed to control one with his head before unleashing a powerful shot, but unfortunately straight down the keepers throat - not literally you understand, that would surely be a feat beyond your standard 11 yr old - and the keeper to his credit held the shot well despite the pace on the ball.
Matt New came close to netting a third, but in his desperation to score and to lift the ball over the keeper, managed unfortunately to get right under the ball and send it high over the bar from close range
Aside from that, the first half was a tad disappointing.
H/T Knights 2 - 0 Bitterne
Now it would be fair to say the half time team talk was a little harder than last week's.
The boys were urged to get the ball under control and find a pass and most of all, to get their tackles in, which had been poor in the 1st half.
Changes were made, formation went 3-4-3 to provide an attacking edge to the 2nd half, Matt Nich, returning from a sore toe, replaced Lewis and slotted into midfield, Matt New pushed up to the left side of the forward line - a change that will prove to be a feather in the cap for the manager, Kev the Groovemaster ! Those present on Saturday night will know what I mean !!!
2nd Half
An early 3rd goal relaxed the team a little, Matt Nich played in Matt New who, a little like Dom earlier, struck the ball across the keeper and into the far post. 3 - 0 Knights !!
Matt was clearly relieved to score his first goal for a few weeks, so much so, that his celebration was quite tame, going with the Alan Shearer one finger in the air tribute.
Matt New then doubled his tally with a fourth from close range 4 - 0 Knights !!
The 5th Goal was a peach, the ball bobbled around and a deflected shot looped the ball up and out of the box, meeting it on the full, Bradders showed a touch of class by volleying the ball straight back over the keeper and into the far side of the goal from 20+ yards, great strike and straight out of the Paul Scholes book of spectacular goals. That's been coming all season. 5 - 0 Knights !!
Yet another first then occurred, Matt Nich's sore toe must have been on his right foot, because the 6th goal, was struck cleanly from 18 yards with his normal standing peg, YES, it was it left, almost as rare as a Matt Nich header to be fair, good finish from the edge of the box 6 - 0 Knights !!
Another change in personnel saw Dom replaced with Lewis at left midfield and Matt Nich slotting back into defence to allow Alfredo the opportunity to showcase his talents in the middle of the park, and didn't he do well.
Barely a couple of minutes into his new role, Alfredo seized on a handling mistake by the keeper, swivelled and turned to slam the ball back over his, and the entire Bitterne defence's heads, into the empty net, great technique and thoroughly deserved for the team's Mr Reliable. The crowd went berserk !!!
Sadly though, despite the classy finish, it only nets him £2 from his Dad - outrageous !!!!!! I'm going to start a petition for a greater goal bonus on Alf's behalf, who's gonna sign up ?? 7 - 0 Knights !!
Behind the management dugout there could be heard mutters of "put him back in defence, this could get real costly !!"
So for this week's quiz, answers on a postcard to the usual address, just who's muttering's were they ??
Now, back to our stand-in goalkeeper Daniel, having had time to brew a cuppa, bake a cake, top it with a nice layer of icing and eat it, Dan was finally called into proper action, the one striker managed to get goalside of the defence and blasted the ball goal bound from 6 yards. A certain goal surely, but in true bulldog fashion, and without a thought, Dan rushed out and blocked the shot clearing the ball well out of the box with his legs - brilliant save that even Nath would have been proud of.
Dan did however nearly undo that work a few minutes later, managing to fumble a gently bouncing ball shot from a long range shot and gathering it just in time before the line ! I think he was actually showboating for the crowd though !!
With the clock running down, Conor, Matt and Ash (showing some Cannavaro type step overs in the position of last man) had to get a few challenges in to maintain the clean sheet.
Not for the first time, the lino on the far side was having an absolute mare, not only did he have a tendency to whip his flag up at the most strange moments, he managed to deny Benno a goal by flagging him offside when he was actually behind the defender - it was a good finish too, but sadly didn't count. It transpired as the game went on that the linesman had actually had no idea of the the offside rule, or quite what was expected of a lines-person.
For the first match this season, there was not to be a Ben on the score sheet, despite plenty of endeavour (powerful word that one) the ball just wouldn't break for either of the Ben's up front, never mind lads, save some for next week when we play the top of the league hey ?
One final goal remained, Matt New bagging himself his first (let's hope not last) hat-trick of the season, a neat step over in the six yard box sold the defender a treat and the shot held too much power for the keeper. Matt celebrated with a fine rendition of the Macarena (that was in the spell checker strangely) in the centre circle. 8 - 0 Knights !!
The final whistle was met with a content round of applause, and the commentary on the dictaphone was "8-0 final score but in the main poor". Still, winning ugly is an art, we'll take that and try and improve in time for the visit of league leaders Tadburn next Sunday.
I shan't be about for the next match, still celebrating my 35th birthday, so I'll provide my mobile number and will trust the parents present at the match to update me for a different style of match report next week - could be interesting. We'll take a summary of the comments to form a unique match report.
F/T Knights 8 - 0 Bitterne
MOM award this week went to the Hatrick Hero Matt New - well done Matty !!
Laters Dudes !!!!!
